im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
I just tried to put my feet in my slippers and found cans of beer in them. Christmas in fucking july.
We have to go find her fucking car. She came home from a 80 dollar cab ride, no shoes, and all she remembers is its at a burger king on a street with an H in it
I swallowed and made him pancakes in the morning. I feel almost as desperate as Jennifer Aniston at this point.
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
After New Year's Eve I will be hibernating my life away. Only wake me up for skiing, schnapps, and sex. In that order.
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
I stole an accordion from the bar
Accidentally
I'm having ragrets about stealing the accordion
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
Randomize
