I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
Checking my Tinder matches as I sit here in the waiting room at Planned Parenthood. I can't be stopped.
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
Randomize
