I need to start cutting my cocaine with Plan B
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
Lmfao a voicemail screaming about you partying with your tits out and a text at 3 am saying you went too crazy... this should be a good one
I successfully navigated a full, lengthy interaction with my dad in which he never asked me if I was freshly baked. 10 points.
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
I came so hard my ears popped.
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
Replacing my paralegal is easy. Replacing my favorite office fuck toy is a totally different story. Damn him for wanting to better himself instead of being my manwhore
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