Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
Im bringing wine tonight. Its from a merlot from nashville. i bet it'll taste like infidelity and teenage pregnancy.
Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
Stop bringing these fucking whores home with you. If I have to fight over the remote with a bleach blonde idiot wanting to watch the hills reruns one more time I'm pissing in your shampoo.
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
I have feelings that need drinking.
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
slept at my ex’s house last night and as i was leaving his brother was sitting there on the sofa and said “bet you regret that one don’t ya”
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
How was your night?
Good. I made people cry and run home
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