I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
I just found out the FDA voted to ban Vicodin, my last connection to this world has been destroyed
I guess i tried to text 911 last night with "someone stole my bong." Thank god that doesn't work...
dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
It's like a toaster oven for my penis
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
If I don't quit picking up guys when I'm drunk, I'm going to need a vagina transplant.
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
i woke up with blood and cuts on my face and i don't remember anything after winning four games of beer pong in a row last night. and i'm still drunk.
you are a true champion. bear my children.
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
Randomize
