When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
you know you're drunk when you start breaking down your body composition into organic molecules
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
Maybe life is about finding the person you DO want to cuddle with after they rail you like a porn star
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
Randomize
