Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
There's nothing like vomiting in the restroom at work to remind you that you're not in college anymore.
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
If this nail lady pinches my achilles one more time im kicking her directly in her bedazzled boobs
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
I just apologized to a wet floor sign i walked into.
Randomize
