The guy in front of me in line at Starbucks looks kinda like Danica Patrick except he has a huge boner.
So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
I am not apologizing for rubbing my balls on your leg...that is a risk you take when you come out to the bar with me
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
Tomorrow's Mother's Day and the only thing I can afford is beer and the McDonalds dollar menu. Do you think a Budweiser and a Big Mac says thank you for me fucking up your life since 1990?
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
I was sitting down, taking a piss with a boner, her cat walked into the bathroom and walked up to my legs, I sneezed and pissed all over her cat through between the toilet seat and bowl, it ran off screeching. She thought I peed on her cat on purpose. Kicked me out
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