Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
I need the number of a restaurant that delivers, has lock-picking abilities, and is okay with full frontal male nudity. Entirely too hungover to get out of bed.
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
At least you get to smell pizza at your job. I just smell despair all day long.
Drunkenly, I gave him a molly instead of an aleve so A) I'm still looking for him and B) I'm not sure about his headache.
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
fuck you
also please return my underwear, they were one of my favourite pairs xo
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
Well, fuck this election. I'm getting drunk, regardless of who wins.
Randomize
