no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
If one more "stranger" walks up to me at the bar and asks how I have been, I am going to rehab.
They sent me to the hospital. Apparently, of the many things I said, I looked at the doctor and told him, "Wow... it's like you're a REAL DOCTOR!"
I got kicked out of the bar for suggesting that the bartender drop her tits into my Redbull instead of the usual liquor
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
I'm glad you still love me even when I change pants in the kitchen and demand you spoon me
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
What happened last night dude?
YOU SHIT ON MY FUCKING COFFE TABLE THATS WHAT FUCKING HAPPENED!!!
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
Will exercising make me less horny?
Randomize
