ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
hdsncx Gizmo asnqw toilet blanasdi
ok, stay where you are, be there soon
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
He somehow managed to accomplish karate kicking a door down, cockblocking my friend in the room, and writing "tits" all over the house with a blue sharpie.
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
Been smoking since 4. The inevitable finally happened: I bought a cheesecake.
Optimism doesn't exist before 2pm nor do any other emotions.
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
Randomize
