What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
Just got that "I know what's going on with your vagina" look from that CVS cashier.
You bought MORE?!
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
I ate the last cupcake. I'm sorry. It was in the refrigerator mocking me. So I ate it. And it was glorious. But I'm sorry.
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
Remember last NYE when after the 9th shot of tequila you went on full crazy mode and made out with the 50 y/o doorkeeper? and he called you the next day?
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
I just called my grandma crying, apologizing for being the first grandchild to have premarital sex...I'm either about to start my period or pregnant.
thought i saw a dude in a kilt yesterday, but then i realized he was doing a walk of shame. happy st. paddy's day.
Randomize
