My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
i really did not know you could catch crabs from a sofa until now
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
Valentine's Day is now to be known as Tacos and Orgasms Day.
Guess who just set half their backyard on fire.
Please tell me youre joking.
Nope. on the brightside though, im really gonna quit smoking this time.
As your boyfriend, I'm gonna congratulate you on winning that fist fight. But as a cop, I have to tell you to not do that again.
Randomize
