Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
how drunk was i? i pretended i was getting a blowjob from a fuckin dolphin in front of my dad. thats how drunk i was.
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
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