What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
A little, yeah. We were stealing firewood from the neighbors (drunk), and figured it would be 10 times harder to be angry with us if we got caught if we were naked, and 100% more hilarious.
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
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