i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
This chick just walked by and pet my beard. Don't know, never talked to her. She just walked by and pet my beard.
Marry her
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
I've needed to start drinking protein shakes to keep up with her. It's like my dick just started doing crossfit.
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site
Just threw up in a cup driving down the road because there was cop behind me and I didn't want to pull over. Not sure if winning or failing at life.
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
Randomize
