clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
He drunk dialed T-Mobile at 3am and talked to them for 45 minutes and got his phone bill lowered from $80 to $60... Best drunk dial ever.
I'm at the bar and they've turned up lady gaga to cover the sound of the fire alarm.
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
and eventually we just all took our pants off
Well when I woke up this morning I didn’t think I’d be masturbating to my own LinkedIn profile today but here we are
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize
