hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
It's noon and i am somehow drinking by myself in a jazz tent in broad daylight.
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
Just found my car keys in your throw-up.
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
I just creeped on air mattress guy's facebook and discovered his ex is the trifecta of evil: tiny, cute, and blonde.
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
I am listening to Jack Johnson and wearing the sweater your Mother made me fuck mother nature I am in my happy place right now
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