The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
I found my laptop, credit card, and a bottle of Morgan all on the counter this morning. I'm scared to see what gets delivered to my house this week.
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
Until then we have the self affirmation from retweets and nights alone with pizza..
Every time you blow me I should make a paper crane and we'll make them into a chain and hang them from the ceiling. And then whenever we have people over and they ask what the cranes are for I'll say "reminders" and wink at you.
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
Never in my life did I dream that I would meet and NFL linesman, let alone that he would be standing before me dressed as a Roman centurion and asking for Vaseline.
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
Randomize
