she has no idea who harrison ford is.
see that's why i'd never date someone born in the 90s
halfway through eating me out he goes 'oh that reminds me i have to buy fish for good friday'
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
You were peeing on yourself thinking it was the sprinkler in your yard
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
Come share oat with me in your robe
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
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