i threw up in his kitchen sink and then used a measuring cup to drink water because i couldn't find a clean glass. i just threw up down the stairs. it's gonna be a long walk home.
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
Thanks to her sunglasses tan, I can't look at her when she blows me cause it's like getting blown by a raccoon. A very talented raccoon
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
Mystery solved. Def had ice creme last night. There is a melted half eaten ice creme bar next to the bed. Which had melted onto my pillow. That explains why it was in my hair too. Im a fucking sherlock holmes over here.
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
Found an elderly homeless guy with a Gandalf beard passed out on my porch. I put a Santa hat over his erect dick cause he was naked.
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
Randomize
