No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
Chasing shots with sriracha-covered mini toast was, in retrospect, not the best idea.
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
spending my first valentines day single in 3 years blazed and eating heart shaped brownies i bought myself. WHO NEEDS A MAN.
The majority of the reason I want to get my pilot's license is so I can use the argument "FUCK YOU! I'M A PILOT!"
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
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