maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
I considered driving home in his mom's bathrobe until i realized i'd have to stop to buy cigarettes
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
look at his last status update. 3:41 a.m. "i love u and miss u already egg burrito. happy trails friend." OF COURSE HE SMOKES POT.
is there a way to sugar-coat "shes in jail" when someone is texting me asking where their friend is?
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
Randomize
