question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
three words: i give head
three words: not that well
I woke with a ring of glitter around my dick.... I kinda don't want to wash it off
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
Look dude I'm sorry I used your bong to snorkel in my bathtub last night
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
some guy i've known for a week sent me nudes saying "you're welcome" i need an award for this birthday
Just as I was applauding myself for the best wing man award, I realized we are going to have to burn our futon.
So the pizza place just called me after an hour saying they don't have dough
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
Randomize
