your room smells of hookers.
And success
my ass just sighed. even my farts are tired.
And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
I'm in the city buying alcohol. I just got warned by a homeless man on the street that I shouldn't look so pretty "in these parts"
My text message history should be ashamed of itself right now.
I legit had a 15 minute convo about dinosaurs with a guy at the bar last night cuz he was wearing a jurassic park shirt
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
He looked me deeply in the eyes and said "I don't want this to be the last time I see you.. Can I follow you on Instagram"
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
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