I think scott just propositioned me for sex
if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
just so you know, you can get through airport security with handcuffs no questions asked
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
I'm at his house right now making him pancakes to compensate for YOU not giving him a handjob last night. You're welcome.
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
He better not be in your backpack
It's 4:30 AM and I just walked through a line of 10 deer without them freaking out. I am the campus deer king.
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
Nothing screams "crazy cat lady" like a nursery in your house when you're over 30, single and have no kids.
Randomize
