what kind of morning-after breakfast implies 'thanks for the sex, but i'm not gonna call you ever again'?
Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
i just fucked the bartender on my cruise to get free alcohol. have things gone too far?
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
he had shaved armpits. I repeat: HE SHAVED. HIS. ARMPITS! First hookup of 2014 and it's with a weirdo. Alcohol:1 Me:0
let’s face it, me joining a co-ed soccer league is like, 33% motivated by my crotch seeking a healthy outlet
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
Did you hear about the guy wearing a spiderman mask running around naked with a bottle of patron?
Yeah.
I was spiderman.
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
Randomize
