It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
why does being broke make me substitute dinner for vodka, Xanax, and two day old cupcakes? I don't like being fat, jittery and drunk.
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
I left myself a trail of jello shots, that ended at his door. OR maybe he left me a trail of jello shots at his door. DO I GO IN!?
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
On the bright side, only one more day until we aren't sober anymore.
I'm taking the day off so I can get drunk at Whole Foods before noon
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
Randomize
