Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
I just realized I am holding a beer in 133 out of 134 photos of me on my facebook page.
Nobody is perfect
I'm at Waffle House wearing one of the paper hats in the other
So many lesbians keep hitting on me. I'm about to give up and just go home with the manliest one.
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
Nope, I'm sticking to passive aggressive punishments. Like mismatching his socks and cumming on his leather couch. OCD is so wonderful.
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
How would I get in touch with Carly Rae Jepsen if I wanted to thank her for the loss of my virginity?
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
Randomize
