Holy shit I just stopped short on route 18 because I thought my gps was saying I had to turn right in 11 feet. After almost hitting the guardrail I realized I had to turn in 11 miles.
Fuck I'm high.
He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
Just threw up mid-poop. I can't drink like I used to.
Next time I pee on a car, I'll text you.
Randomize
