But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
Found an old burrito under my bed
You are a sick fuck
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
Don’t worry I was with my ex husband for 10 years and he could never remember the year I was born, when our dating anniversary was or what year I graduated high school. But I still know that mother fuckers SSN lol
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
Is there a number of dicks a girl can have in a weekend before it becomes unacceptable? Asking for a friend
Remember! It’sa long weekend and a holiday weekend and it’s America’s birthday! So don’t short change me!
I thought you were asking for a friend
Randomize
