I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
If I learned anything from that one time I saw the last 10 minutes of oprah when they talked about the secret, it is that you project what you receive back. I also have wine.
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
MY DAD KEEPS LIKING PORN LINKS/ALBUMS ON FACEBOOK AND THEY ALL SHOW UP IN MY NEWSFEED
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
I thought I was drunk because I kept grabbing his arm instead of his dick
But then I realized it wasn’t his arm and that I was very lucky
Randomize
