i woke up with a shirt on. the kids in my daycare group had a lot of questions when i took off my shirt at the pool to reveal "property of brittany" written on my chest and an arrow pointing to my dick.
Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
I probably shouldn't have followed up that rainbow sherbet with beef jerky. This is a whole new level of fat, even for me.
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
Found the puke drawer
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
Randomize
