North Korea, Best Korea!
You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
As girls, Bert & Ernie are not very bangable costumes. At least not by who we'd want to get banged by.
I was kidding. But I promise you I'd still find us the most eligible bangables, even if we dressed up like a dumpster and a prom night baby.
In college, I had one standard. Penis. A lot has changed since then. Now I really only have one standard. Breathing.
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
I have found random beers stashed in my purse and microwave... Apparently I thought 2015 was gonna have a beer shortage
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
You kept telling everyone that you were as sober as a camel. I have yet to figure out what that means
How’s your Christmas Eve so far?
I just chased my melatonin with red wine. It’s 12:00pm.
Randomize
