So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
You're a FUCKING ASSHOLE. Love mom
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
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