Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
were having a shit on karen session at work but then she walked in so we used code names instead and she tried to join in like she knew them
im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
Trying to Jedi mind trick myself into not throwing up. This is not the esophagus you are looking for.
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
Randomize
