I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
First order of business is dropping my 9 am gym class. I'm sweating pure vodka.
She's the only one so far who hasn't laughed at me naked.... I'm gonna marry her.
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
What's the proper amount of time to avoid my 76 year old neighbor that caught me with my pants down, peeing in my driveway at 5am?
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
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