there's paper in my vomit.
The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
Dude, I checked into a cathedral... I thought it was a joke, until I found a candle and a whole bunch of coins in my purse
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
I can motorboat myself in this new push-up bra. I need to go out tonight.
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just sitting here contemplating the meaning of life.
So you're drunk waiting for the bus.
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
Sometimes in life you just have to realize the security deposit isn't worth it.
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
and by running errands I mean eating an entire bag of milanos by myself in the Walmart parking lot
Randomize