Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
I think your dad took our porno
It's 2:10 am I am sprawled on the floor of the kitchen drunk and eating cold chicken wings come help
My purse is like an anchor I can't move I am sliding around like an over turned turtle send help
This floor is really dirty send a maid if you can
He said we were over, wrote my name on the condom he left in my car last night and said he'd always keep it in case I came back. It was kind of romantic
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
Why am I cleaning the house twerking to anaconda wearing a bears jersey and helmet?
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?
Fuck me I smell like cheese
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