What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
Came home and the girl was sitting on the steps "talking" on her ipod touch AND was halfway done eating a raw cucumber.
Nothing better then your mother meeting someone you randomly had sex with and him introducing himself as the guy who rocked her world once.
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
so literally, as soon as i tripped and fell and hit the floor the earthquake started. hows THAT for a self esteem boost?
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
Who wrote Most Moistest Dad on my chest and what the fuck does it mean?!?
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
You know you're at a low point when you're sucking vodka out if your hair.
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
Randomize
