It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Man my junk looks like a mangled grapefruit right now, this shit sucks.
I only call her for sex and medical advice. She admitted she feels like a worried parent when her phone rings at 5 a.m.
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
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