so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
Randomize