Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
Apparently they want to see what I've been working on for the last three months. Can I just hand them a bunch of empty fifths?
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
The only thing worse than being hungover is being hungover and not able to open your mouth wide enough to eat a cheeseburger
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
I can't put those talents on a resume
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
Is there a reason drunk me put drunk you's phone in the freezer?
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
Randomize
