they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
You always know it is going to end badly when a guy asks if he met you at a "coed naked lawn bowling party"
I just wanna go somewhere and not be judged for wearing spandex shorts that make my ass look like a slice of fucking heaven. Is that so much to ask??
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
Hah I guess I sent that to like ten people, along with another one of me sitting in a bath tub eating an ice cream sandwich.
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
HOLY FUCK i just remembered we had bows and arrows and firecrackers last night
and flaming arrows and vodka
how did we not set your garage on fire
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
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