I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
Why is it only times like these when I'm scrubbing the cum stains off my futon before my family gets here that I seriously begin to question my life choices?
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
theres a new barista at starbuck holy fuck she's hot
i want to face-plant into her vagina
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
My mom just asked me if I knew what Buzzfeed was. Then said she's watching the second Magic Mike for the bodies. Please help.
Apparently I drunkenly agreed to help the homeless. For once, I'm not disappointed in drunk me. Four for you, drunk self. You go, drunk self!
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
....I just did my boss
I love you. And I will hold your hand as we skip on the road to hell.
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
Randomize
