VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
Drinking with birthday clown in the backyard shed at a 5 year olds birthday party at 12 in the afternoon. My life doesn't need any adjustments
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
my liver gets a handicap on account of the whole being diseased thing
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
You were sitting in the middle of the floor spewing vodka at people proclaiming "I a whale". That drunk.
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
He wouldn’t know a good thing if it bit him on the ass. Which, btw, I did.
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