Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
Right when I walked into the party my boyfriend stood up and yelled, "HEY TITS, GET ME A BEER!"
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
i love that feeling when you wake up and have no idea how you got back to your dorm or why you have mac and cheese on your cheeks and eyelashes in your mouth
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
Turns out the average person our age has never run from the cops. Life: we're doing it right.
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
