best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
I'm going to go ahead and refrain from sexting you in an airport that is currently at a "level orange" security threat.
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