I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
He had one of those small greek statue penises
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
Successful New Year's Eve:: Your first shower of the year is on Jan. 2nd... 'cause you didn't trust yourself to stand up long enough on Jan. 1st. Hello 2010.
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
So I cleaned the toilet last night at 2 am and woke up with pink eye. Never doing that again.
Just stuffed an entire cupcake in my mouth after finishing third glass of wine. Valentines day is pretty much going how i expected it.
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
Woke up chewing my pillow from a dream where I was scarfing Cajun pasta from TGI Friday's. That's a new level of fat, even for us
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
Randomize
