Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
Thanks for having 911 ready when I jumped off the balcony
We ran out of ice cubes so I used ice cream. Everyone thought that was the plan all along. I just went with it.
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
Randomize
