I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
so, totally just picked up a pack of red bull, and some magnum condoms and the old woman at the register's tone went from "hi blah how are you" to "oh....how YOU DOIN'?" she knew what was up
If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
I told my ex i loved him and then he sent me a picture of this girl laying on his bed.
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
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