you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
Just got my cast off. My occupational therapist wants me to self-gratify. My clit is about to have an awesome weekend...
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
You kept trying to use my cat as a napkin.
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
Dude I am allergic to the candy dicks from that sex shop in Vegas. Come take me to hospital right now.
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
just sex-dialed 911. that's 34 seconds of dignity i will never get back.
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
Randomize
