Hey dude. Went to the hospital. Call me when you get up
I faked an abortion last night.
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
Found trail of ibuprofen on ground. I'm like the intervention version of e.t.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm mad at him and disappointed with you. It's like I put a bunch of effort into a PowerPoint of "what not to do with Zach" to show you and the first bullet point was "do not love him" and you're just disregarding all my effort and friendship.
I have to make mistakes myself to learn from them
FUCK YOU I AM MAKING A POWERPOINT
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
I think I just found my soul mate...he's wearing a zebra striped onesie and is into Michael Jackson...I'll explain in the morning.
Remember that one time you told the bartender he was fuckable? Well, he's here.
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
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