You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!
Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
yeah, you could tell they werent used to the strange things that i say. they were all outright shocked when i told one guy i hoped someone kidnapped him and stretched his dickhole over a fire hydrant
Funny how I'm trusting a magic 8 ball I found in the kids toy section to tell me about my sex life
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
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