Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
New scientific discovery: The hypothetical attractiveness of a woman increases exponentially as her skirt:boot ratio approaches zero. Nobel Prize in my future?
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
Walk of Shame today included voting.
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
You got the eggs out of the fridge and yelled "my chickens are beasts at making eggs" and then pegged them at the ceiling and at a couple who were making out
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
I’M DRUNK AND EXCITED.
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
Randomize
