im drinking this country out of the recession.
That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
party started at 10. cops are coming to shut us down now and its 11. i already lostmy underwear and im wearing a sparkly thong on my haed. this has to be some kinda record.
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just remembered that he had fake blood all over his face last night. I woke up with it all over my dick. He was 50. Please don't judge me.
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
WHAT THE FUCK JASON, WHY IS THERE A FREE BLOW JOBS BY LISA SIGN IN MY FRONT LAWN WITH MY PHONE NUMBER ON IT?! PEOPLE ARE PULLING INTO MY DRIVEWAY!
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
Dad was on the deck drinking straight bourbon. He stopped, puked on his feet, and then continued drinking and talking about compound interest.
I'll have a whole suitcase of emergency bacon with me obviously
I mean, he'll either figure it the fuck out or set my apartment on fire. Either way, it will be entertaining.
Guess who's now on the no-fly list? If you guessed me, you'd be right.
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