I'd wear matching sweaters with you
ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
In all fairness I did warn the guy I just spray tanned before we had sex so I hold no responsibility for the bronzer all over his sheets
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
If I pissed all over some chicks bed I would probably apologize for getting so wasted, not putting out, and turning into a god damn R. Kelly Cinderella... Not ask for coffee and a ride home.
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
Did you put pizza in my boxers last night?
I left you 4 hours ago. Have you been walking around with shit in your pants all day?
We're snowed in with only two condoms. This will literally be valentines day russian roullette.
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
Can we just agree for a moment that semen in your sinuses is the fucking worst?
Sitting across the table from one of my high school teachers who hasn't seen me since I was about 16 drinking a beer wearing a leotard
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